The pressure to achieve can sometimes feel overwhelming. We’re bombarded with messages that tell us to hustle harder, push through obstacles and never settle for less. But at what cost? The line between striving for success and burning out is thin, and many of us are teetering dangerously close to the edge. So, how do we know if we’re striving too hard? And more importantly, is our striving healthy, or is it driven by fear and the need to please others?
Striving, in its essence, is a natural part of life. It’s the force that propels us forward, fuels our ambitions and helps us grow. Healthy striving comes from a place of intrinsic motivation—it’s about setting personal goals that align with our values and passions. When we strive in this way, we’re more likely to experience a sense of fulfillment and joy in the journey, regardless of the outcome.
However, striving can quickly become unhealthy when it’s rooted in external validation. If our desire to achieve is driven by a fear of failure, a need to prove ourselves, or the pressure to meet others' expectations, we may find ourselves caught in a cycle of relentless pursuit with little satisfaction. This kind of striving is often accompanied by feelings of anxiety, stress and burnout.
One of the key indicators that you may be striving too hard is a constant state of exhaustion—both physical and emotional. If you’re pushing yourself to the point where rest feels like a luxury rather than a necessity, it’s time to reevaluate. Another sign is the inability to enjoy your achievements.
When you’re so focused on the next goal that you can’t take a moment to celebrate how far you’ve come, it’s a clear indication that your striving has become more about the pursuit than the pleasure.
Additionally, if your self-worth is tied to your accomplishments, you’re likely striving from an unhealthy place. When we define ourselves by what we achieve rather than who we are, we’re setting ourselves up for a never-ending quest for approval. This can lead to a life driven by fear—fear of not being good enough, fear of disappointing others and fear of failure.
Healthy striving comes from a place of self-awareness and self-compassion. It’s about setting goals that are meaningful to you - not because they’ll impress others, but because they resonate with your inner values and desires. When you strive from a healthy place, you’re able to set boundaries, take breaks and recognise when enough is enough.
Ask yourself: Are your goals aligned with your values? Are you pursuing them because they genuinely matter to you, or because you feel you should? Are you able to find joy in the process, or are you solely focused on the outcome?
Striving from a healthy place also means embracing the concept of good enough. Perfection is an illusion and the pursuit of it can lead to chronic dissatisfaction. By allowing yourself to be human, to make mistakes and to have limits, you create space for growth that’s sustainable and fulfilling.
Fear and people-pleasing are two of the most common drivers of unhealthy striving. When we’re motivated by fear—whether it’s fear of failure, rejection, or not measuring up—we’re often in a state of fight-or-flight. This constant state of stress can take a toll on our mental and physical health, leading to burnout.
People-pleasing, on the other hand, stems from a deep-seated need for approval. When we base our worth on others’ opinions, we lose sight of our own needs and desires. This can lead to a life that’s more about fulfilling others’ expectations than living authentically.
To strive from a place of strength rather than fear, it’s crucial to cultivate self-awareness. Take time to reflect on your motivations, identify any patterns of people-pleasing and challenge the beliefs that drive your fear. By doing so, you can begin to shift your focus from external validation to internal fulfillment.
The key to balancing striving and achieving lies in self-compassion and realistic goal-setting. It’s about recognising that while ambition is valuable, it should not come at the expense of your wellbeing. Set goals that are challenging yet attainable, and allow yourself to celebrate small wins along the way.
Remember, it’s okay to rest. It’s okay to say no. And it’s okay to prioritise your mental and emotional health over the constant push for more. By striving from a place of love—love for yourself and your values—you’ll find that achieving becomes a natural byproduct of a life well lived.
In a world that glorifies hustle, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless pursuit of success. But true achievement isn’t about how hard you strive. It’s about striving from a place of authenticity, balance and self-compassion. By tuning into your motivations, setting boundaries and embracing the journey as much as the destination, you can transform your striving into a healthy, fulfilling path to personal and professional growth.
At
Prospera Consulting, we understand the pressures that come with leadership, particularly when it leads to burnout or unhealthy striving driven by fear and the need for approval. Through our
executive and
burnout coaching, we help leaders recognise these patterns and move towards a more sustainable, heart-centred approach to achievement.
By using key indicators, we can uncover whether your actions are aligned with external validation or authentic purpose, allowing for meaningful change. Our Leading with Heart program is a transformative first step in cultivating the self-awareness necessary to lead with integrity, balance, and genuine impact.
Our commitment at Prospera Consulting is to propel our clients' careers and businesses to new heights by seamlessly blending executive expertise with a profound passion for holistic wellbeing.
Hobart, Tasmania
All Rights Reserved | Prospera Consulting
Website help by Social Space