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Striving vs Achieving: Finding Balance in a World Obsessed with Success

Kelly Walker • September 11, 2024

The pressure to achieve can sometimes feel overwhelming. We’re bombarded with messages that tell us to hustle harder, push through obstacles and never settle for less. But at what cost? The line between striving for success and burning out is thin, and many of us are teetering dangerously close to the edge. So, how do we know if we’re striving too hard? And more importantly, is our striving healthy, or is it driven by fear and the need to please others?


The Nature of Striving


Striving, in its essence, is a natural part of life. It’s the force that propels us forward, fuels our ambitions and helps us grow. Healthy striving comes from a place of intrinsic motivation—it’s about setting personal goals that align with our values and passions. When we strive in this way, we’re more likely to experience a sense of fulfillment and joy in the journey, regardless of the outcome.


However, striving can quickly become unhealthy when it’s rooted in external validation. If our desire to achieve is driven by a fear of failure, a need to prove ourselves, or the pressure to meet others' expectations, we may find ourselves caught in a cycle of relentless pursuit with little satisfaction. This kind of striving is often accompanied by feelings of anxiety, stress and burnout.


Are You Striving Too Hard?


One of the key indicators that you may be striving too hard is a constant state of exhaustion—both physical and emotional. If you’re pushing yourself to the point where rest feels like a luxury rather than a necessity, it’s time to reevaluate. Another sign is the inability to enjoy your achievements.


When you’re so focused on the next goal that you can’t take a moment to celebrate how far you’ve come, it’s a clear indication that your striving has become more about the pursuit than the pleasure.


Additionally, if your self-worth is tied to your accomplishments, you’re likely striving from an unhealthy place. When we define ourselves by what we achieve rather than who we are, we’re setting ourselves up for a never-ending quest for approval. This can lead to a life driven by fear—fear of not being good enough, fear of disappointing others and fear of failure.


Striving From a Healthy Place


Healthy striving comes from a place of self-awareness and self-compassion. It’s about setting goals that are meaningful to you - not because they’ll impress others, but because they resonate with your inner values and desires. When you strive from a healthy place, you’re able to set boundaries, take breaks and recognise when enough is enough.


Ask yourself: Are your goals aligned with your values? Are you pursuing them because they genuinely matter to you, or because you feel you should? Are you able to find joy in the process, or are you solely focused on the outcome?


Striving from a healthy place also means embracing the concept of good enough. Perfection is an illusion and the pursuit of it can lead to chronic dissatisfaction. By allowing yourself to be human, to make mistakes and to have limits, you create space for growth that’s sustainable and fulfilling.


The Role of People Pleasing


Fear and people-pleasing are two of the most common drivers of unhealthy striving. When we’re motivated by fear—whether it’s fear of failure, rejection, or not measuring up—we’re often in a state of fight-or-flight. This constant state of stress can take a toll on our mental and physical health, leading to burnout.


People-pleasing, on the other hand, stems from a deep-seated need for approval. When we base our worth on others’ opinions, we lose sight of our own needs and desires. This can lead to a life that’s more about fulfilling others’ expectations than living authentically.


To strive from a place of strength rather than fear, it’s crucial to cultivate self-awareness. Take time to reflect on your motivations, identify any patterns of people-pleasing and challenge the beliefs that drive your fear. By doing so, you can begin to shift your focus from external validation to internal fulfillment.


Finding Balance


The key to balancing striving and achieving lies in self-compassion and realistic goal-setting. It’s about recognising that while ambition is valuable, it should not come at the expense of your wellbeing. Set goals that are challenging yet attainable, and allow yourself to celebrate small wins along the way.


Remember, it’s okay to rest. It’s okay to say no. And it’s okay to prioritise your mental and emotional health over the constant push for more. By striving from a place of love—love for yourself and your values—you’ll find that achieving becomes a natural byproduct of a life well lived.


Reflection


In a world that glorifies hustle, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless pursuit of success. But true achievement isn’t about how hard you strive. It’s about striving from a place of authenticity, balance and self-compassion. By tuning into your motivations, setting boundaries and embracing the journey as much as the destination, you can transform your striving into a healthy, fulfilling path to personal and professional growth.


At
Prospera Consulting, we understand the pressures that come with leadership, particularly when it leads to burnout or unhealthy striving driven by fear and the need for approval. Through our executive and burnout coaching, we help leaders recognise these patterns and move towards a more sustainable, heart-centred approach to achievement.


By using key indicators, we can uncover whether your actions are aligned with external validation or authentic purpose, allowing for meaningful change. Our Leading with Heart program is a transformative first step in cultivating the self-awareness necessary to lead with integrity, balance, and genuine impact.

By Kelly Walker December 9, 2024
Over the next 12 months, I’m embarking on an exciting journey to become an ECD Certified Practitioner with Riders & Elephants . This certification is not just about adding another qualification to my portfolio - it’s about deepening my ability to help leaders, teams and organisations thrive by intentionally shaping emotional culture. At Prospera Consulting, I’ve always championed heart-centered leadership, wellbeing and sustainable success. This certification aligns perfectly with that vision, equipping me with innovative tools and insights to support clients in fostering emotionally intelligent workplaces. Why Emotional Culture Matters Every organisation has an emotional culture - whether intentionally shaped or unconsciously developed. Emotional culture is about the feelings that drive our behaviours at work, impacting how we collaborate, innovate and perform. It influences: Employee engagement and retention. How teams navigate challenges and embrace change. The overall wellbeing and satisfaction of individuals. When leaders prioritise emotional culture, they create environments where people feel valued, connected and motivated. This isn’t just a soft skill; it’s a strategic advantage that directly impacts organisational success. What is the Emotional Culture Deck? A key component of this certification is the Emotional Culture Deck by Riders & Elephants. This powerful tool is designed to make it easier for leaders and teams to have meaningful conversations about the emotions driving their work. Through interactive exercises, the Emotional Culture Deck helps individuals and groups: Identify the emotions they want to feel (and avoid) at work. Explore how these emotions shape behaviours and outcomes. Build shared understanding and connection around what matters most. This innovative approach transforms abstract concepts into actionable insights, giving leaders the confidence to lead with authenticity and emotional intelligence. Exploring Emotional Culture in Leadership and Beyond The Emotional Culture Practitioner certification isn’t limited to workplace wellbeing; it spans several critical dimensions, including: Emotional Culture : Providing tools to uncover, define and shape the emotional landscapes that underpin organisational success. Leadership : Understanding how emotions influence decision-making, team dynamics, and authentic leadership. Change : Supporting organisations through transitions by addressing the emotional impact of uncertainty and transformation. Stakeholders : Enhancing connection and communication by recognising and shaping the emotions driving relationships. This holistic approach will allow me to deliver even more tailored, impactful solutions to my clients, whether they’re looking to navigate complex challenges, foster stronger connections, or build a more sustainable path forward. What This Means for Prospera Consulting’s Clients At Prospera Consulting, our focus has always been on heart-centered leadership, sustainable strategy, and wellbeing. This certification aligns perfectly with our mission to help leaders lead with authenticity and purpose. For my clients, this journey means: Enhanced Tools for Leadership Development : I’ll bring evidence-based methods to help leaders understand and influence emotional culture in their organisations. Deeper Conversations About Wellbeing : We’ll explore how emotional culture intersects with burnout prevention and sustainable leadership. Practical, Tangible Outcomes : Whether it’s through workshops or coaching sessions, emotional culture tools will be seamlessly integrated into the way we work together. Looking Ahead with Excitement This certification isn’t just about acquiring new skills, it’s about amplifying the impact of the work I already do. I’m excited to explore how these learnings will influence the services Prospera Consulting offers and the outcomes we achieve together. The year ahead will be one of growth, discovery, and transformation - not just for me, but for every leader and organisation I have the privilege of working with. If you’re curious about emotional culture and how it can reshape leadership, culture or wellbeing in your organisation, let’s connect. Together, we can explore how to create workplaces where emotions drive connection, innovation and success.
By Kelly Walker November 4, 2024
Burnout is a serious issue across workplaces, impacting both productivity and personal well-being. When supporting a burnt-out team member, leaders have a critical opportunity to make a difference — but many make a common, well-intentioned mistake: assuming they know what the employee needs rather than directly asking them. Assumptions about how to support an employee can lead to unintended setbacks. For example, reducing responsibilities might seem helpful but could remove tasks that the employee finds meaningful or energising. Without asking, leaders risk taking actions that may ultimately frustrate or disengage the employee further. Why Assumptions Miss the Mark in Burnout Support Burnout is a deeply personal experience, and no single approach will work for everyone. Leaders who try to “fix” burnout by acting on assumptions may inadvertently worsen the situation, sending messages that feel dismissive, undermining and demotivating. Here are some common examples of how assumptions can backfire: Assuming a lighter workload will help : Automatically reducing tasks may unintentionally communicate that the leader doesn’t have confidence in the employee or sees them as a burden. Assuming they need “easier” tasks : Reassigning an employee to low-stakes work may feel like a demotion if those tasks lack purpose or meaning for them. A well-meaning leader can unintentionally add to the stress or isolation felt by the employee. To truly support, it’s essential to ask rather than assume. The Power of Asking: How to Create a Supportive Dialogue The best way to avoid assumptions is to engage in an open, respectful conversation. Rather than “fixing” burnout through assumptions, start by asking the employee what they need. This not only validates their experience but gives them control over their own path to recovery. Here are some questions that can foster a supportive dialogue: “What tasks or aspects of your role feel energising for you right now?” “Are there specific challenges or stressors that feel overwhelming?” “How can we adjust your responsibilities to better support you?” These questions demonstrate a willingness to listen and help the employee feel heard, ultimately leading to more effective support. Identifying Energising vs Exhausting Tasks Another risk of assumptions is removing tasks that are actually fulfilling for the employee. Burnout doesn’t mean every part of their job is overwhelming — often, some aspects remain rewarding. Understanding which tasks energise versus drain them can guide balanced recovery support. This approach also empowers the employee to retain some control over their work experience. For instance, if mentoring others brings purpose, keeping this in their role could aid recovery. Conversely, discussing ways to manage or reduce certain administrative tasks might ease their burden. Establish a Safe Space for Ongoing Conversations Supporting an employee through burnout requires ongoing dialogue, not a single conversation. Regular check-ins provide the opportunity to adjust support based on what’s working and what’s not. This consistent communication shows that the team values wellbeing and creates a culture where speaking up about challenges is welcomed and respected. By maintaining an open, adaptive approach, leaders reinforce their commitment to the employee’s wellbeing, creating a supportive environment for both the individual and the broader team. Avoiding Assumptions & Supporting Recovery The biggest mistake leaders make when supporting burnt-out employees is assuming they know what’s best without asking. By opening a conversation and inviting the employee to share what they need, leaders can avoid unintended setbacks and offer meaningful support. Burnout recovery is a journey, and compassionate, individualised support can make all the difference. Through open communication and a commitment to understanding each employee’s needs, leaders can foster a healthier, more supportive environment for everyone on the team. At Prospera Consulting, we understand the toll that burnout can take, and we’re here to support you on your journey to recovery. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Reach out, take that first step, and give yourself the care and compassion you deserve. Your wellbeing is worth it.
By Kelly Walker October 23, 2024
Burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion that can leave you feeling completely depleted and unable to cope with even the simplest tasks. It can creep up on you slowly or hit you like a tonne of bricks, but either way, when you’re burnt out, it can feel like there’s no way out. If you’re at that point where everything feels overwhelming, and you’re on the verge of sending out an SOS, it’s time for a personal intervention. Here’s how you can start to reclaim your energy, reframe your thinking, and give yourself the grace and compassion you deserve. Reframe Your Thinking: From Maximum to Minimum When you’re burnt out, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need to do everything, be everything, and keep pushing through. But this “maximum” mindset is what got you into this state in the first place. To start your recovery, it’s crucial to reframe your thinking and shift from maximum to minimum. Ask yourself: What is the minimum that I need to do today? This question can be incredibly powerful in helping you reset your priorities. On days when you’re feeling completely drained, focus only on what absolutely needs to be done. Maybe that’s just getting out of bed, eating something nourishing, or taking care of one essential work task. Let go of the pressure to do more than that. By focusing on the minimum, you give yourself permission to rest and recover without feeling guilty or overwhelmed. Give Yourself Grace and Self-Compassion Burnout often comes with a heavy dose of self-criticism. You might feel like you’re not doing enough, not being productive, or that you’re somehow failing. But these thoughts only serve to deepen your exhaustion and sense of inadequacy. Now, more than ever, it’s important to give yourself grace. Recognise that burnout is not a sign of weakness, but a signal that you’ve been pushing too hard for too long. Be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself the way you would to a dear friend in the same situation. Acknowledge that you’re doing your best, and that it’s okay to take a step back to focus on your well-being. Self-compassion also means allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling without judgment. If you need to cry, let the tears flow. If you need to rest, give yourself permission to do so. Your emotions are valid, and taking the time to process them is an essential part of healing from burnout. Ask for Help: Who Is Your Support Network? One of the most challenging aspects of burnout is the feeling of isolation that can come with it. You might feel like you have to bear the burden alone, but the truth is, you don’t. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. Think about who is in your support network. Who can you turn to for a listening ear, practical assistance, or just a comforting presence? Whether it’s a partner, a friend, a family member, or a professional, reach out and let them know what you’re going through. You don’t have to go into detail if you’re not ready; simply sharing that you’re struggling can be enough to start the conversation. If you’re hesitant to ask for help because you don’t want to burden others, remember this: the people who care about you would much rather know that you need support than see you suffer in silence. Lean on your network, and let them help you navigate this difficult time. Take a Break If You Can Sometimes, the best way to start recovering from burnout is to step away from the source of your stress. If you can, take a break—whether it’s a day off, a weekend away, or a longer holiday. Use this time to disconnect from work and other obligations, and focus solely on your wellbeing. Taking a break doesn’t have to mean doing nothing (unless that’s what you need!). It could be spending time in nature, indulging in a hobby, or simply catching up on rest. The key is to give yourself permission to rest without feeling guilty or pressured to be productive. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. If taking a break isn’t possible right now, try to find small pockets of time throughout your day where you can rest and recharge. Even five minutes of deep breathing, stretching, or stepping outside for some fresh air can make a difference. A Path to Recovery Burnout can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that you have the power to make a personal intervention and start your recovery. By reframing your thinking from maximum to minimum, giving yourself grace and self-compassion, asking for help and taking a break if you can, you can begin to replenish your energy and find your way back to balance. At Prospera Consulting, we understand the toll that burnout can take, and we’re here to support you on your journey to recovery. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Reach out, take that first step, and give yourself the care and compassion you deserve. Your wellbeing is worth it.
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